Couples and Trauma
When you or your partner have experienced trauma, it can have a profound impact on your relationship. Not only may there be nightmares, a startle reflex, or difficulties with work or school, but often our traumas get triggered in our relationship. To truly have a close, connected relationship that is fulfilling to both partners, we need to feel safe. This can be very difficult when there has been Single Incident Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or Complex PTSD. Particularly, Complex PTSD is when someone grew up in a situation where they were in an ongoing states of nervous system arousal, due to abuse, unpredictable parents due to mood disorders or substances, neglect or generally a situation where the person grew up not feeling safe. This relational trauma can make being close and vulnerable in relationships significantly difficult.
In my work with couples, I use Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, which I am a certified supervisor in, as well as my knowledge and background in treating trauma through EMDR and working with clients with Complex PTSD. I help couples to slow down their cycle, see where they're getting triggered, understand their attachment fears, and begin to take risks with their partners, being vulnerable, and experiencing them there for them. By understanding what trauma is, and how it effects us, our partner and our relationship, we can begin to take our life back. Working through trauma is no easy feat, but with the loving support of your partner, you can gain a closeness that you may not have ever imagined possible, leading you to feel safe, connected, hopeful for the future, and have a fulfilling sex life.